There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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