How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
