so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae