I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
either way he was missing a nipple.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You can't just leave with hair like that
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
