Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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