me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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