Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
