the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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