We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The convent might be a nice break from real life
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
