Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
