My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
