Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My bed smells like the plague
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
