Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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