My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm at about main and main street
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
