I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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