Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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