is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
