i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
