no. you can't hotbox the world.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
