were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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