You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
