You just made me feel so damn special
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
