you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
