Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can't turn off my feet"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
