My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
