Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
