I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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