No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
