we have officially lost it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize