I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
