Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand. http://tfl.nu/fgi3
  Replies (0) Good night (487) Bad night (935) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Quick, to the slutcave!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Quick, to the slutcave! http://tfl.nu/wu8s
  Replies (24) Good night (5550) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis http://tfl.nu/zgff
  Replies (64) Good night (7803) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes http://tfl.nu/p42l
  Replies (10) Good night (3281) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in. http://tfl.nu/63c6
  Replies (39) Good night (4154) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere' http://tfl.nu/tlv9
  Replies (18) Good night (4486) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed. http://tfl.nu/fpfi
  Replies (6) Good night (3029) Bad night (1076) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady. http://tfl.nu/nlis
  Replies (8) Good night (3777) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close http://tfl.nu/huvz
  Replies (5) Good night (1262) Bad night (2106) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex" http://tfl.nu/srnr
  Replies (4) Good night (1417) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  you are never too drunk for berry picking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): you are never too drunk for berry picking http://tfl.nu/1gaj
  Replies (7) Good night (1365) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits." http://tfl.nu/sgvn
  Replies (5) Good night (902) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  can anyone on this campus do anything sober?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): can anyone on this campus do anything sober? http://tfl.nu/gpdm
  Replies (3) Good night (694) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend http://tfl.nu/i89p
  Replies (3) Good night (316) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (750): View more from

  Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (750): Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on." http://tfl.nu/43jv
  Replies (1) Good night (256) Bad night (274)

Randomize