Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
