I like to think it a success when the cops are called
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think your dad took our porno
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then