I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud