I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
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I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
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Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.