are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
