try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize