WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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