If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
