He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
