oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
