oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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