I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I need water and some morals
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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