No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
