Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
