the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
