her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
