i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
