He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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