Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
