What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
