summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
