I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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