at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize