Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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