I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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