the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
