butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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