the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
