Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
