you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ugly people sure do ruin things
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
