Your dad touched me again.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he fucked my hip out of place.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
