the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
