We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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