when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
