I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
