those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
