I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
