There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
