you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
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I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
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Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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