If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
