I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
