How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
