My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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